Doctors: Hurry up with the practice!

So I go to Urgent Care since my doc can't fit me in and the Urgent Care doc says I need to see my doc or a specialist. Why did they send me to Urgent Care then? What if I was dying? They would send me to the E.R. So what is Urgent Care for? Just to give out temporary prescriptions based on guess work? They don't do any lab work there or is it just because they wanted to go home?

She said she really had no idea but it wasn't fungal, either I have an underlying disease or allergy or it could be viral.

So I spend all day reading up on every skin disease on the New Zealand Dermalogical database and cross checked it with the CDC and WebMD; bacterial, viral and fungal, contact allergies, etc. and none of them resemble the rash on my feet.

The on call doc said I was allergic to my shoes and that seems to be the most likely at this point but if I am allergic to leather there goes all shoes. And it itches like crazy. Can't tell if my chills are related or if it's just winter. Mono? EBV? hepetitus? CFS? seborrhoeic dermatitis, pityriasis versicolor or atopic dermatitis?

The same look comes from bee stings, poison oak, band-aid adhesive, or chlorine in the pool. She said I could have a gluten disease. I looked up that allergy and it says to avoid fish, corn, all grain, nuts, and some fruits, but basically I can't eat anything.

I could have about 5 diseases or cancer but probably none of them. WTF!
I just hate that my co-pay is the same and then I have to go to the doc for another co-pay who will send me to a specialist for a 3rd co-pay and if I'm lucky they will figure it out by then. I end up paying the same as if I had a PPO. They get paid a lot to call it a practice! And how many years of practice to they get? Get it right already! It seems medicine, law, psychiatry and auto shops are the only industries that get to keep charging ridiculous sums without actually solving the problem you came in for.

I've probably done more studying of skin diseases than my doctors combined.
I can tell you if you have Herpes Zoster, Scarlet Fever, Polio, TB, or African HIV, Lupus, Hyperthyroidism, or liver cancer but I can't diagnose my own damn feet.
At least I know now why she prescribed me a steroid cream and said I need a specialist.

And my dog has a paw the size of a balloon now which makes me wonder why either of us went to the doctor this week. I might be better off concocting my own potion in my kitchen. At least I have oatmeal and collodial silver in there. I can make my own damn spray; I told the vent I wasn't going to buy the $20 spray of oatmeal and collodial silver unless I could also use it on myself. He said no. So tonight I sprayed athlete's foot spray on my dog's balloon-sized paw and she smiled real big and fell asleep. I guess this means I should probably go get the over-priced dog spray and use it on my feet.

Vets n docs

So I took my dog to the vet yesterday for her paw and shots. Actually it's her arm that she's been licking. The term is Gaucineroma or something like that which translates to "licks paw too much." He told me to use hydrocortisone cream and then prescribed me a $20 bottle spray of organic oatmeal and colodial silver something or other. I said, "Hold the horse!" and pulled out my prescriptions of Nystatin and generic hydrocortisone cream which by the way are much cheaper than dog prescriptions! He said Nystatin was even better which is what I had put on per paw this morning and did notice a difference. I decided to wait on the $10 head cone as well. My bill was $55 for all her shots including the visit (which I wasn't charged for but is normally $10) and a $5 nail trim; very worth it.

So I have to say I love my vet. NFAH for you LA locals. He only gives you the shots you need, not everything ever available. When I've had to have my dog's pad sewn back on his paw (twice!) because he literally licked it off (Yes, that black cushion thing) it was $106 for over the overnight surgery. And when my old dog got attacked by another dog and needed facial reconstruction, OK stitches in his face, all over his head and inside his mouth it was again only $300 and that was the entire bill, not just the surgery. If you are lucky you have a vet like this who will tell you when it is time to put your dog down, that he has lived a great life and not push expensive tests and procedures. Luckily I have always had a vet like this. Docs should do the same. (Even luckier for me my last dog took the decision out of the equation by getting my other dog to distract me and take me for a walk when he decided drop to drop dead.)

But my point is this, I was at a family dinner and they mentioned their tiny little dog being prescribed Tramadol as a pain killer at 50mg. I went home and realized I had a prescription for the same dose of Tramadol for my back pain! So I gave some to my dog for pain and well, she was freaked out pacing at being drugged out so maybe she didn't need it. The point is we can mostly take the same stuff. (Though don't give your dog antibiotics for humans. I did that once by accident and he really puffed up.)

So now my dog and I both have feet infections and I really wish I could pull out my foot at the vet and lay it on the table. Let's have a one-stop shop.

Student Loans... what you need to know

If you hold a Perkins Loan and you read that loan agreement (and you did because they forced you to read the fine print in an exit interview before they would let you graduate) you would know that in periods of financial hardship the government pays the interest for you. All you have to do is apply for it. Same goes with Federal Subsidized Stafford Loans. But these loans then get bought and sold to third parties who will try to make up their own rules so know your rights and call the Ombudsman if you need help. Did I say Rosebud? No, the Ombudsman. Just go here: www.ombudsman.ed.gov/

No company is consolidating or refinancing loans since there is no profit to be made with such low interest rates since late 2008. Therefore the government has stepped in and anyone can consolidate a loan even if you only have one loan with the reason being "these terms are not suitable for me." You may be able to get your interest rate lowered this way. Of course you have to be in repayment and no longer in school on those loans for this to work. Exception: "Borrowers whose consolidation applications are received on or after July 1, 2010 and before July 1, 2011 may qualify to consolidate loans that are in an in-school status into a Direct Consolidation Loan."
If your loan is in default you can still consolidate under the Income Contingent Option which is the best option anyway (OK, second best, really.)

Go to: http://www.direct.ed.gov/student.html which links you to here: https://www.dl.ed.gov/borrower/BorrowerWelcomePage.jsp

Repayment Options:

Standard Repayment

Cheapest over time but may be impossible in that time frame unless you make a massive income or have a trust fund.

Extended Repayment

This is a new one. According to the Direct Loan site:

To be eligible for the extended plan, you must have more than $30,000 in Direct Loan debt and you must not have an outstanding balance on a Direct Loan as of October 7, 1998. Under the extended plan you have 25 years for repayment and two payment options: fixed or graduated. Fixed payments are the same amount each month, as with the standard plan, while graduated payments start low and increase every two years, as with the graduated plan below.

Graduated Plan

Smaller payments that increase every 2 years. You will pay more in interest this way.
It will take you more time to repay. No payment can exceed three times the first payment.

Income Contingent

Uses your income to calculate your payment based on federal income guidelines based on your AGI, family size, spouse, discretionary income, etc. and *. The goal is to not cause you financial hardship by such large loan payments you may have in the previous options. After 25 years of payments the government writes off your loans but you will pay the taxes on this as if it is income in that year. They have their own calculation for this that really makes no sense. Interest will accumulated on your loans, and will be added to the loan balance (capitalized) each year. "However, capitalization will not exceed 10 percent of the original amount you owed when you entered repayment. Interest will continue to accumulate but will no longer be capitalized." This means the interest you pay on your interest can only get so big, then you will stop paying interest on your interest.

Income-based Repayment

This is a new plan started by the Obama administration during the recent bank crisis when he realized the student loan crisis was larger than the mortgage crisis but to admit this would cause a national meltdown or err, cost the government more money in bailouts. The Administration also realized that all the options available were starving out the population or causing massive defaults and that the only way out was to add the 25 year clause to the last two options. Note this also allows you to go back to school!

Your payment will most likely be the lowest under this plan because A) you have to have at least a partial financial hardship and it is based on your income during this period and B) it is based on state income guidlines rather than federal.

Example A) in California the poverty line is under $34,000 and but under Federal the poverty line is is say under $18,000. The minimum wage is higher in CA than the Federal because it costs much more to survive there then say Texas or Washington where they don't have state taxes and outrageous rent.

Example B) under income contingent even though you have financial hardship and are unemployed your payment may be calculated and come up with the same figure as you were paying before you did all that paperwork and were under the graduated plan. This makes no point really, but that is how outdated the federal AGI standards are.

So go with the income-based plan if you can because in 25 years your loans are also forgiven with the same clause saying the balance will be added to your taxes as income on which you will be taxed in that year. (Of course they haven't really come out and said this because they don't want everyone to chose this option.) They use the term "may" in case we no longer tax our people at that time. Highly unlikely! If you carry a large loan balance this plan will allow you to eat, even if you have a job because remember, in California or or New York what is considered poverty is of course much higher.... Yay!



Per DL site: *Monthly discretionary income equals your AGI minus the poverty level for your state of residence and family size, divided by 12. For the current poverty level, see the Poverty Guidelines Chart, which is issued annually by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.


If you hold a PLUS loan that means your parents love you and took out the loan for you so technically they have to pay it back if you don't so you have less options. You have parents that love and support you so get over it! (For your options go to the DL site. You may be spoiled rotten but you still have options.)


If you insist on staying with Sallie Mae or some other multi-million loan sucking machine you should know that they can't force you to pay more than you can afford to pay under something called Title IV. Mention this and they will start stammering and act confused.


Well, I hope this helps!

How to not get Scammed!

1) Use your brain and common sense.
2) Do your research
3) Use referrals
4) Use methods of payment with fraud protection
5) Get it in writing
6) Read the return policies
7) Read the description fully and examine the item before you buy

Example A) A man calls asking for money for the local police department who is sposoring a program for seat belt safety in schools. (You think he is for real because he as a CB radio as background noise.) Take his number and tell him you have to call him back. You then call the local police department and they confirm that they will never call and ask you for money and that they sponsor no non-profits.

This is a real scam out there and the CA number on your Visa forwards to a number in New Jersey. It is difficult to prosecute across state lines but your best bet is the fraud protection on your Visa. Capital One for instance has a zero deductible on fraud protection unlike HSBC which has a $50 deductible for out of state transactions.
This is a real scam that has happened to me and a handful of people I know.

You can also contact the Attorney General in your state for further assistance and to report a claim. You are very likely not the only victim.

Example B) You buy insurance and are unhappy with their decision on your claim or they refuse to pay. You can report them to the Insurance Commissioner of the state you live in. And by the way, even if you don't put a beneficiary on file all life insurance must pay out to a beneficiary upon your death (provided you have made all of your payments before your death and the policy is still active) and it is their job to locate one. You also checked the credit rating of the insurance company before you bought the policy. You are also smart and know that each state has a back up plan for insurance and there is something called re-insurance which guarantees insurance policies along with the state insurance fund that insurance companies must pay into in order to sell insurance in each state. (For some reason insurance agents aren't allowed to tell you this.) Beyond that insurance companies must have 3-4 times the assets to back up each policy that they write.

Example C) If a bank promises you a rate of return with zero downside as in you don't have to keep your money for any period of time but will get say 10% interest (APR) without any risk of losing money it is a ponzie scheme! Even if your uncle has invested here and got 10% back, stay away. Duh!

Example D) You bought the stupid maintenance guarantee on that sewing machine and it breaks down. You have your receipt and the store is still in business 3 years later (lucky you!) but the policy has changed at the store regarding their guarantees. They still have to honor your original contract and fix your machine. In fact depending on your agreement they may have to give you a free rental but they won't honor this unless you have all the proof and it hasn't disintegrated in time because you were smart knowing the ink would fade on the receipt and photocopied that shit! In fact you were so smart you file the photo copy of the receipt with the manual.

Example E) A cute guy tells you you are beautiful and asks you to buy magazines in a mall or door-to-door. This is a scam, don't do it! You will never receive the magazines. Whatever you do don't pay in cash.

Example F) A guy flags you down saying he has a huge deal on speakers, that he is a delivery guy and got an extra shipment and even shows you the speakers and a FedEx receipt. Don't buy these as inside the plastic speakers is nothing!!!!

Example G) You have over-paid your student loans when you can and now can't make payments on your loans and despite a financial hardship application the loan company tells you you owe late fees and they never received any application. They also try to make their own rules instead of following federal law which states you only apply every year, not every 6 months! They also want you to pay the interest for you during that time but you know the law and the federal government pays that interest per your loan agreement! But you were smart and kept a copy of that app, certified those letters sent and filed a complaint with the Ombudsman in Washington DC that governs student loan complaints. Even your smart lawyer aunt told you not to bother and that no one has ever won a case against a student loan company. But you prevailed! And besides no late fees since you had over-paid for years you actually get to defer your loans interest-free for two whole years! Bite it, Campus Partners!

to be continued...

How to save Big!

OK Christmas season is upon us so it is time for blatant consumption of food, and for women this includes shoes and clothes.

I have been living off a single shoe string since I was twelve (actually much earlier than that.) So for me this recession is well, status quo. In fact I actually get to wear clothes without defects or not pre-owned for once in my life. Hurray!!! Bring it!

Here is how you save big.

(1) Whatever you want to buy, Google it. Say I want boots.
I Google "womens tall boots" and a list comes up.

You decide you want boots on sale for half off at RalphLauren.com, Macys.com, Shoes.com, Piperlime.com, Amazon.com, etc. You get the point.

Don't chose the site called cheapUggs.com from China. Chose reliable sites, duh!
And pay via Paypal funded by your Visa that has fraud protection in all 50 states, or just pay with your Visa or Mastercard. It's very simple (don't tell me how your friend got ripped off in China or Nigeria from a fraudulent site. Use common sense here. If it is too good to be true it is!)

(2) Next you Google the site plus the discount code (type into Google search engine tab: (Store + discount code) .

For example, I type in "Ralph Lauren + discount code"
I then pick from the 1st few listings (not the ads at the top) a site. I like RetailMeNot.com (some sites will then require you to type in the store on their search tab)

I already found the boots were 50% off on RalphLauren.com but now I find a code BZR29362 10% at Ralph Lauren. I then go to the site which if I'm lucky also has free shipping and get 60% off retail.

Next I then buy stuff using the same procedure above for Ann Taylor Loft. I get say 30-40% off plus an additional 20-30% off using a code. I wait until the stuff arrives.
Then when they mail it they send you coupons good for $25 per $50 spent. If I use them in the store I can double these up. So I return a few items I don't like or weren't on sale at the store where I don't pay return shipping.

(3) I then buy new stuff using my store credit along with their current sale for 40% off. (I couldn't find my receipt so I got a bit back on my returns even with 40% off.) More important, I used the coupons I got in the mail, after the 40% off so I got another $100 off.

(4) On top of that I opened a store card which gets you 15% off plus more coupons. All in all I paid around $100 for $430 retail.

(5) Next I go to Macys.com and make a purchase on sale items using their discount code. I have to make a return and realize the item I bought that wasn't on sale is now on sale. I ask for a credit of the difference in sale price since I had just received the item in the mail that day. Done! Then using my store card on their clearance I got another 20% off so $50 slacks were $24 and I walk out the door with them for around $10.99... not sure how they did their math but that's what happened!

If you shop at Banana Republic and Old Navy you should know that they have sales every Monday, along with most appliance web sites. Find the code on their site or in tip#1.
Keep stuff you like in your basket and watch the prices change from day to day until you get it on sale at the price you want, then follow the code tip and get an additional discount (I just got over 5 items for under $40.)

(6) I also thrift shop at Goodwill and Out of the Closet and at ebay.com
Nothing is too thrifty for me. I'd rather sit at home than get crushed in the crowds on Black Friday and now you don't have to either!

(7) Note: If you are shopping for bedding, kitchen gear or jewelry Ross is still my all time favorite. The key is to return something. Hold on to the return item until you have found what you want to buy. This puts you in the return line which is about an hour shorter than the regular line!

(8) My family would do this every weekend when I was a kid. You buy a paper the night before (now just look it up online) and find every garage sale you want to hit. Mark a route hitting every one preferably between 8-9am (if you are insane you hit them at 5-7am an upset the sellers.) This is still an insane method for shopping but is how I got all of my clothes as a kid. Of course if this is how you shop for your kids it is guaranteed to piss them off. Good luck!

(9) Check your local craigslist for virtural yard sales. For photo equipment, furniture and free junk the Craigslist Los Angeles is like no other.

(10) Find a good financial advisor and invest the difference. If you don't know one I can help.

Am I missing something? Let me know in the comments section below.

Happy shopping!

How to Wash Your Cat

Well washing your cat should be done by everyone. At least everyone who owns a cat. I've owned cats in the past and am now allergic. Why you may ask? Well because no one washes their damn cats! I used to wash my damn cats.

So, this is how you wash your cat.

No, you say? Your cat washes him or herself? No! Not true. Your cat licks its paws and spreads saliva all over your cat. Your friends are allergic to the dander caused by fleas as well as proteins in the cat saliva which is now all over your cat and now your cat is rubbing him/herself all over your furniture. Your friends come over, sit on the furniture and feel like hell from allergies. Soooooooo, go wash your damn cat!


So, this is how you wash your cat:

Get the tub water luke warm as in perfectly warm like well, urine temperature.
Have the soap, a few towels and cat all in the same room with you with no escape routes. Take off the collar. Firmly grip your cat by it's front shoulders so that you have control over the cat and his/her paws. Get your other hand on his haunches so you have control over his back feet. Have an awareness of where those nails are all all times. Say soothing things to the cat in a soothing tone of voice, it's OK, good kitty, etc.

The 1st couple time the kitty may put up a fight but when the water temperature is just right your cat will relax and almost enjoy the bath.

So get the cat wet but never the ears. I will say it again. Keep the water out of the cat's ears. Soap up the cat (neck and tail right away if you are using a flea shampoo... and near the rear to block those flea escape routes...)

Next wait five minutes for the flea soap to do it's magic. (Your cat will be a bit pissy and howly but it will get over it.)

Next rinse the cat under the same nice warm water (tub's tap will do.) A yogurt container is helpful to splash water under the cat (Keeping your grip near it's neck/on his front haunches with at least one hand.)

Once the cat is rinsed you turn off the tap, wrap the cat in a couple towels and hug the cat, once again saying soothing things in a soothing voice...good kitty, etc.

And that's it! It's that easy. You are done! The cat will wriggle away, sulk and dry itself. Cat's may eventually prefer the bath over the snuggles afterward.

You make get a few scratches the 1st time but I'm sure you are used to these since you already live with a cat!

So, go wash your cats!!!!!!! Your friends will thank you, and maybe even your cat.
The world would be rid of cat allergies if everyone washed their cats once a month.
You can do it, go wash your cat!

OK so, if you absolutely cannot wash your cat just trade it in for a damn dog. You can tell the local pound I said so.